2005-06-09 I'm not waiting here this time
I've lost alot of weight. Like, 15 or 20 pounds. It's been mysterious and worrisome.
Finals are done, I'm working now, moving to France soon. Scared and excited.
Sometimes, I need to remember that I'm alot braver than I think I am.
I have to remember that I'm alot more fragile than I think I am.
I need to give myself more credit. Or just credit.
I have to remember that I am, in fact, a vengeful, manipulative bitch. It takes alot to get on my bad side, but it's an awful thing to be on my bad side.
There's lots and lots of things that I need to do, and I don't feel as if I'm doing anything right. How much can I fuck up in a lifetime?
Well, I'm not a heroin addict and I don't have any terrible diseases. So I did two things right.
Things could always be worse, but they could also always be better.
I really hate being borderline.
9.08pm
