2005-04-07 You would kill for this
Fucking school.
Life's good otherwise. I found the new love of my life for the next couple weeks. I've been stupid giggly.
Yeah, I'm still seeing Luke. This hasn't stopped me from seeing other people, and it still won't. I don't feel bad. I don't think this says anything about myself, but rather our relationship. Unless I suddenly became a sociopath.
So, you know, like alot of the kids I dated.
Yay.
I'm reasonably certain that New Boy (Ryan) isn't a sociopath. My friend, Christina, introduced the two of us last Monday -- I was trying to hunt up somebody to go to martini night, but somehow everyone had homework. What the fuck. On a Monday? I was talking to Christina when he showed up, and he mumbled something about wanting to go somewhere to have a drink. Christina got a huge grin on her face, and before I could say "What the fuck are you planning?" she suggested that we two go together.
Had a fantastic time. Exchanged numbers. He called me on Thursday, we got together on Friday. Went out. Another fantastic time. Went out a bit on Sunday, saw him briefly on Monday. All fantastic.
I asked Christina if he's desperately lonely or something (guessing by the grin on her face) -- all she said was that "He just got out of a relationship..."
He just got out of a relationship of about 2 years, with a woman he has a 1.5-year-old kid with. A month ago.
Hurray. I'm the Rebound Girl. Which I realized I'm really good for -- I do very short, very intense, good relationships. They end before things get too serious, and leave the other person feeling refreshed and ready to move on.
I'm okay with this.
I've also been organising a big 21st birthday shindig for Alissa. Doing a mini bar hop. Not really a crawl, but sitll. We're excited.
I got into an argument with a friend of mine the other day about me taking antidepressants. He suggested first, that I don't need them (I do), then suggested self-medication.
Brilliant.
I'm depressed, so I'm going to become an alcoholic. That always works out.
I tried explaining to him that I'm also doing a shitload of therapy and have a fucking personality disorder, but apparently decided not to listen. Tried just explaining I HAVE PROBLEMS THAT WILL NOT GO AWAY ON THEIR OWN, but that seemed really unimportant.
He took a (singular) psych class and thinks he's a fucking expert now.
I wasn't sure how else to explain it to him. I'm not depending on some little pills to make my life all magically better, but it helps me help myself. Which I also tried to explain, to no avail. He seems to think I'm poisoning my body with it or something.
Honestly, I'd rather be poisoning my body than cutting myself.
Maybe I should have told him that.
In retrospect, I just shouldn't have said anything. I just didn't expect him to judge me.
Anyway. All this putting off homework has made me lazy. I should hop to it.
9.10pm
