2004-12-30 Fuck 2004

Well, the year's almost over and all I can think is: Thank God. It sucked. Let's list the really shitty things in Joanland for this year, okay?

Shit
-Finding out Tim skipped town on me (well, everyone) the same day I got scarlet fever and had an allergic reaction to my antibiotics. Fuck.
-Pseudo-breakdown at the beginning of summer.
-Dealing with said pseudo-breakdown.
-Meeting a nice guy, who then decided it'd be alot more interesting to leave me for his ex-girlfriend who was only in town for about a month (I think he really, really liked rejection. I'm not sure).
-Getting hit by a car, after doing everything right -- learning that it doesn't matter how right you do something, you can still get utterly fucked.
-Dealing with injuries from said accident.
-Dealing with insurance companies from said accident (and no, I still haven't settled, I still have problems).
-Class = great but also = stress.
-Going to my quack psychiatrist.
-Finding out an ex has Hepititus, has for years, and never told me -- found out around 4am on a Saturday night after a Halloween party (I told very few people about this, because I didn't want anyone to worry).
-Spending 2 weeks wondering if I'm going to die before I'm 30 before finding out that no, I don't have any weird diseases (I got tested for everything possible), BUT...
-I might have cancer (finding out more about that on the 10th) (again said nothing because I don't want anyone to worry).
-Finding out that I have to jump through a bunch of hoops just to find a good psychiatrist.
-And dealing with my own shit.

But there were good things, too.

Good
-Tattoo work. Much tattoo work. I now have a bit of a backpiece. It's awesome, and rather mighty.
-Rocking ass in my classes last semester.
-Rocking ass in my classes this semester.
-Loving all my classes this semester.
-New apartment.
-Feeling Mighty, Lovely, Pretty, Charismatic -- better self-image, even though it's still unstable.
-Getting more cute skirts.
-Having an awesome bed.
-Turning 21 (so I can now drink, gamble, and buy a gun. Legally).
-Meeting many wonderful people.
-Learning lots of things (like, with the Hep ex, that it really doesn't matter how much someone cares -- or says they care -- about you, or how much you trust them, they're still going to lie to you).
-Maybe finally getting some credit. (phone line! bills!)
-Plans to move to France next year.
-Having wonderful people to lean on.
-Still having Luke, amazingly, who can deal with my bullshit. Amazingly.
-Feeling karmic justice has been served with the Hep ex in so much that, hey. He's gonna die soon. I realize that's pretty morbid, but. Really.
-Knowing better.

I'm sure there's more.
Anyway, GODBYE 2004! Can't say I'll miss it.

Oh, and my birthday and Christmas were great. Nothing too fascinating happened, but my mom and I got a degenerate lunch at one of the local bars. Since my birthday was on a Sunday, who else really goes into the bars on a Sunday afternoon? Nobody says "Let's get a drink after church." We ate food and split a beer. Because it was still just too early for me to be drinking, birthday or no.
I got alot of neat stuff for my bed for Christmas and birthday, among other things. I may just conduct all business from bed from now on -- I really have no excuse to leave it. Except bed sores. Ick.

8.04pm

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