2004-11-10 Disorder, disorders
Monday, the psychistrist basically told me that he wants to induce a psychotic episode for the learning experience.
Let me explain.
He seems pretty dead-set on me being bipolar. Fine enough. I've also heard that borderline personality disorder with depression looks a goddamned lot like bipolar disorder -- and to be honest, I think I'd rather be borderline than bipolar. But those are all "b" words, it doesn't matter right now. But since he's not entirely sure as of yet, he doesn't just want to put me on mood stablizers. Instead, he suggested antidepressants: "It'd make your highs higher, but at least then we'd know."
Alright now.
Do you know what happens when you put a manic-depressive on antidepressants? Antidepressants, in general, cause mania. And if you're depressed, great, mania brings you around normal. But if you're bipolar, it takes you out of the depressed state (great) and brings you into a manic state (not great). But not only does it swing you into a manic state, it swings you into a much more severe manic state. Extreme mania tends to be a little psychotic. Such as the man in Wisconsin who stayed up for 7 days trying to build bridges in his back yard due to an extreme mania.
My goal for this year is to not get committed. It's a pretty reasonable goal, I feel.
So, yeah, I decided it was time to find a new doctor.
Oh, I also found out that, had he done this to me, it would be grounds for a malpractice suit. But I suppose inducing a psychotic episode in an uncontrolled environment for the sake of diagnosing somebody a little earlier just would be.
Fuck.
Life hasn't been at all interesting otherwise.
I need to study.
9.34pm
